Vegetarian Ethics (for Meat Eaters)

As a vegetarian, there are a few things that seriously annoy me. Sometimes to the point of violence. So, in order to save some random Meat Eater (Meater) embarrassment I’ve decided to set some rules down for Meaters to follow when they encounter one of my fellow vegetarians.

Dont confuse Vegetarianism with Pacifism.
Dont slap a Vegetarian across the face and not expect your next meat sandwich to contain knuckles.

Dont ask me if I eat fish.
I’m a Vegetarian, I dont eat fish. If I say I’m a Vegetarian, please take my word for it dont try to catch me on some diet technicality. If you see someone who claims to be a Vegetarian eating fish you may want to mention it, but be polite dont act like a child in a middle school cafeteria. Just for the record: a diet that consists of veggies and fish is called Pescatarian.

Know the difference between Vegetarians and Vegans
Vegetarianism is a diet, Veganism is a very ridged lifestyle, most Vegetarians are not Vegans. Some Vegans, are really just Vegetarians.

Don’t bring meat into a Vegetarians car.
Its like lighting a cigarette in a non-smokers car. That’s just disgusting, and rude, dont do that.

Don’t call out the Vegetarian
Some fast food restaurants have veggie burgers, some sushi restaurants have veggie sushi, if you see a Vegetarian friend at a restaurant please do not: Point, Laugh, Yell, Take Pictures to post on facebook.

If there is meat in that dish, please tell me.
This is mostly a problem I’ve encountered with my grandmother, who has decided that I will die because I’m a Vegetarian. She schemes to feed me meat, as you would sprinkle crushed aspirin on pudding to feed to a sick child. It’s annoying, but in that specific case, it’s ok, because its love. In all other cases: knuckle sandwich.

I won’t die if I eat a little meat.
on an extremely rare occasions I will stomach a small amount of meat for the sake of my host, usually when there is a significant language barrier. Do not scream from across the room, “don’t eat that it has meat in it!” or, dive across the table and swat a piece of bread that, has a small amount of bacon sprinkled on it, from my hand.

Dont be offended if I dont eat your meat.
If someone invites me over, I dont keep my diet a secret. Dont get all bent out of shape if you make a pot roast and a Vegetarian reaches over it for the salad. Always make salad.

Servers: I will send that dead carcass in my food back.
I always let a new server know Im a Vegetarian, if they bring me meat I will send it back. A half decent waiter should be on top of these things. Would you eat your soup if a cockroach was floating in it? Please don’t defile my food.

I’m not a Vegetarian because I crave attention.
My diet doesn’t have to be the conversation of every dinner.

Im a Vegetarian, not a PETA activist.
I care about what I put in my body. You don’t have to explain to me why you use a choke collar on your dog, I dont care.

“You Know, plants are alive too!”
Knuckle Sandwich.

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Vegetarian Ethics by David Brown is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at www.esotericdrifter.com.
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